Sunday, May 20, 2012

I don't have a job, a steady income, and as of June 1st, a secure place to live. I also won't have health insurance nor do I have a husband to rely on for emotional or financial support. I don't come from a wealthy family that can give me a loan until I get back on my feet. Sometimes, I feel like the weight of the world has pushed me to the ground and that I won't be able to get back up. Sometimes, I look to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs at the God that surely is punishing me for something. There are those sad, self loathing days that even getting out of bed seems impossible.
But I do. I push on. Why? It's the dance party that I had during a softball game with my 14 year old niece.  It's the dating advice from my 18 year old niece that has me cracking up every time I think of it.  It's the completely random 45 minute phone call from a couple of friends that I can barely understand because we are laughing more than speaking. It's the text message at 11 at night from my smart ass brother that has me grinning ear to ear. It's my mom telling me not to ever leave my drink unattended, ever. It's a friend insisting that I walk for graduation because I am the reason she made it through.
It's sunshine and wine.


It's all of these things and so much more.

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