In a perfect world, you would be standing in front of me with your rare smile and everything would be be fine. I could take back the words I said and the tears that we both shed.  In a perfect world, I would stop these selfish thoughts.  I would let you be. Just be. We both know that's what you need most.  To just be. It's what I need as well. And I can't. I can never just be. To just take what I have and love it.  To love myself, is much more difficult than loving you.  I can point out your greatness and only see my flaws. 

My main flaw, hurting you.

Sadly, I think you forgave me, but I have yet to forgive myself.