I find when I have nothing keeping me super busy, I lack complete ambition to blog. I'm not sure it's an embarrassment issue or what. It is much more rewarding writing about life when there are multiple things going on, and you feel like you are a productive person. Since I am not working, going to school, or saving the world I should expand my horizons and try changing it up a bit and write about social economics, war, religion... or not.
To get the school issue out of the way.. I failed. Really, that's the bottom line. The expectations were at a certain level and I wasn't able to meet them. I still have some slight animosity toward my egomaniacal instructor, that pushed and pushed without having an ounce of compassion. Or a soul for that matter. Realistically though, it was all me. I am to blame. Almost two months later, it still hurts to admit that I failed at something that I thought I was going to be amazing at. My school journey will continue in the Spring with the Central Service Technician Program. Only a semester long, it basically just entails the sterilization of the instruments that are to be used in surgery. I'm ready to move on.
Since my failure, I haven't been doing too much. Things have been happening in my life, without my body leaving the couch. My Uncle Michael passed away a few weeks ago and I haven't fully realized what that means to me yet. He was one of the greatest men I have ever known. A person who lived life to its fullest, had a kind word for everyone, and just made you feel at ease the moment you met him. My father's brother, he was the first sibling of either of my parents to pass away. It bothers me that I don't' really know how my dad is dealing with the loss. Since he lives in Florida, I have been trying to read in between the pauses, fake cheerfulness and whatever other cues I am able to get through a telephone conversation. Which is hopeless.
1 comment:
Don't be so hard on yourself Ms. Flo!! Life is a series of failures and conquests.
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