To prove myself is only proving to be futile

I was born to make mistakes, born to disappoint, and born to fail

God's imperfect child, this I am and forever will be

Slowly, but surely, I am waking.

In a perfect world, you would be standing in front of me with your rare smile and everything would be be fine. I could take back the words I said and the tears that we both shed.  In a perfect world, I would stop these selfish thoughts.  I would let you be. Just be. We both know that's what you need most.  To just be. It's what I need as well. And I can't. I can never just be. To just take what I have and love it.  To love myself, is much more difficult than loving you.  I can point out your greatness and only see my flaws. 

My main flaw, hurting you.

Sadly, I think you forgave me, but I have yet to forgive myself. 

Gah.

 There are people who rely on homeless shelters for a roof over their head and soup kitchens for a hot meal. 

That being said... I'm still pretty unhappy about my financial situation right now, even though I know it could be way worse.

I find that the less funds that I have, the more hungry I am.

dancing
ice cream
cake vodka
sunshine
laughing
coffee
summer
mom
sleep
grilling
nieces
nephews
flashcards
chats
beer
girlfriends
books
patients
wine
school
dresses
god
music
cheese
trivia
gg
____



let it be enough

I need school to start as soon as possible. 

Regret,


I would really appreciate it if you would quit FUCKING with my head.

connection

Oh, how I miss thee internet.  Borders is a lovely establishment to hang out and utilize free wireless, but not my ideal pick. I will be making a trip to my cellular provider in the near future to see about purchasing some form of internet "hot spot".   I may have to downgrade other materialistic features, but in the name of the internet, it is worth it.