Of course it wouldn't hit me until midnight, while I am trying to eat a bowl of cereal the size of my head.

What the hell is so "good" about goodbyes?

 I will be spending my first Christmas in five years without a significant other. It will also be the first Christmas in years that my baby bro will not be in attendance of our family festivities.  The latter will definitely be the harder change to deal with.  Even though our ages are nearing 25 and 32, we have not shattered the tradition of spending Christmas Eve night with our parents and opening gifts at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning, just the four of us.  Since we are the childless and unmarried children in the family, its always just made sense.

I guess the most mature and eloquent way I can put my feelings on this is.. it's going to suck.  Adulthood sucks.

Be still.

                                Photo credit: The lovely Rheanna Guckenberg




As of right now, the rain is falling, this picturesque scene has faded, and my heart is asking me where to go from here. Be still, I say. Be still.

Sitting here, with my slightly overheated computer on my lap, I cannot help but wonder,  "Am I frying my ovaries?"

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own




KATE NASH

Shock is a strange little thing. A blow to the stomach, you forget how to breathe. You process. You react. Or maybe you don't. You don't react. It could be perfectly normal to sit in silence for 23 minutes, staring at the wall, completely unaware that you are on the brink of insanity.  I heard my own heart beat today. I was disappointed. Not that I heard it, but that it was beating. I was pretty sure that it was broken. A heart that damaged cannot possibly survive. But it did. Apparently, the heart is one of the strongest muscles in the body and mine is not disputing this  fact. No, this heart of mine has something to prove. This week it has been testing me.

I just hope that my mind is as strong as my heart.

I feel like an ass.

For the first time, the words aren't spilling out of me. I am waiting to tell no one.

All the potential in the world...