Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Clinicals II

Long day. This is my first experience with working without pay. Not really digging it yet. It was a tad disorganized, no one knew when to take breaks, how long my breaks were supposed to be.
 At some points I felt in the way or a nuisance. Some people were friendly, some were... not so friendly? The locker room is tiny, I felt like I was changing in a closet. I feel so scatterbrained right now. What should I be working on? What should I be focusing on?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Clinicals

I start clinicals tomorrow. I'm a nervous wreck and am worrying about anything there is to worry about.  Here is a short list of my current worries:

clothes, what to wear (even though I will receive hospital issued scrubs upon arrival)
food, when will I be able to eat? If I don't eat.. I will get a horrible headache.. and die.
migraine. I will get a migraine and start throwing up everywhere.
brain. Mine won't function. I won't remember a single thing I learned.
allergies. It's that time of year for me.. so my eyes will be puffy and I will look like a stoner/crybaby/loser
hearing. Someone is going to tell me a valuable piece of information and I won't even know it.
employees at the hospital. I know they are going to be rude and act like they are better than me.
classmates. They are going to know everything and outshine me, making me look like the slow one.
sweat. I sweat profusely. I won't be able to lift my arms for the entire 7 hrs I am there.


freaking out..,

Friday, March 19, 2010

30 never looked so good?

You know who you are.

I wish you would just come out of the closet already.
I wish you would quit. Then I wouldn't have this built up resentment.
I keep waiting for you to say what I need to hear.
I love how amazing TRUST feels. Thank you.
I hope you reach your breaking point. For your own happiness.
I love that we are not "just family" anymore, but friends.
I love hearing how much alike we are. 
I miss the "old days". We were so close.
Quit making excuses. Either you want to change or you don't.
I am so proud of you, I hope you know this.
You are fake.
Thank you for your unconditional love and constant forgiveness.
Sometimes your walls make me want to scream!
I can never repay your kindness. Thanks is never enough.
Money does not buy happiness, so please stop pretending it does.
I can always tell when you are lying. Always.
You need therapy.
Thanks for being such a loser. You woke me up.
You are so genuine! Refreshing!
You have never called me just to chat.
I catch on when you are patronizing me.
I love you.
I miss you.
You tell it like it is. Thank you.
Thanks for actually listening. Really listening.

Golden Ticket

I received the famous (infamous?) Publisher's Clearing House packet in the mail. I wish I was lying when I say that I felt a  slight rush of adrenaline while opening it. Does anyone actually fill this out and send it back in? Do real people, under the age of 87 win? Do real people win, period? I'm curious as to why I am receiving it now, for the first time in my life.

Hmmm... I just turned 30. Coincidence? I think not.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Age

I'm freaking 30!